


Leaving on a Jet Plane

by WaywardWolf007



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Again, F/M, Im gonna stop now, Not A Happy Ending, also mild language, depends on comments and stuff, if that makes any sense, like maybe one curse word that's not too bad, might make a happier sequel, more like nostalgic happy, not super hardcore angst just nostalgic happy sadness, still not happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-11-29 22:02:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11449941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WaywardWolf007/pseuds/WaywardWolf007
Summary: Bucky is leaving for the war. For the good of America. To fight the good fight. But how will he let go of his best friend? And how will she let go of him?





	Leaving on a Jet Plane

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first work on here. I figured I'd post it to get used to posting stories. It's an older one and not my best-just a random story. Helpful criticism is welcome, but please be nice about it. And gentle. Plez be gentlez.

Leaving on a Jet Plane

 

 

**All my bags are packed**

**I'm ready to go**

 

Casey was woken up by a knock on her door. She blearily opened her eyes and glanced at the calendar as she sat up. Immediately her spirits took a nose dive and her heart crashed for a moment. Bucky was leaving. Off to war.

The poor blonde still couldn't quite wrap her head around it. Her Bucky, Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes of the 107th. Leaving.

The knock sounded again, this time followed by an impatient honk from farther away. It sounded like it came from the street. Casey jumped up and slipped on the nearest thing she had: a blue short-sleeved top (and bra, of course) and a black skirt that fell to just below her knees.

After shoving her glasses on, she proceeded to rush to the door, as much as it pained her. For she knew exactly what she would find when she turned the handle and pulled back that oak slab-

  
**I'm standin' here outside your door**

**I hate to wake you up to say goodbye**

 

There stood Bucky. In his army green uniform. With shoes perfectly shined and pants perfectly pressed. He always knew how to iron and wash. His mother and sister never did his wash, as he was often home at odd hours due to his job as a mechanic. He mostly took care of the family because the two women in question were almost always at the factory and needed to rest when they got home; not that Bucky didn't, he just refused to let them be more exhausted than him.

So he learned how to do it himself. In fact, he could do a lot of things on his own. For example, he cooked a mean spaghetti. Casey knew this, because he cooked for her while she was sick once. And after he insisted that for three days she have only chicken noodle soup, the day she got better he made her spaghetti. And boy was it good.

Her eyes slowly traveled to his pristine black belt and engraved belt buckle. Up his gold, polished jacket buttons. Over the crossed rifle pins on his perfectly straightened collar. Finally coming to rest on his face.

Bucky was easily one of the most beautiful sights on the earth. Even when his adorable, plush mouth was quirked into an awkwardly apologetic half-smile at waking her up so early.

  
**But the dawn is breakin'**

**It's early morn**

 

The rising sunlight hit his face to make the perfect slanting of light. The man looked like an honest-to-God angel, Casey swore. She shot a wavering smile in his direction and swallowed thickly, pushing back tears.

"Hiya, Buck," Casey managed to choke out. "You uh- You headed out?"

Bucky mirrored her sad smile and nodded. "Yeah, doll. Sorry to wake you up so early, I just wanted to say goodbye before I left," he confided sheepishly, tilting his head down and shoving his hands in his pockets.

Casey's smile faltered for a moment. She would miss seeing his bashful smile, his adorable blush, childish pout. She would miss hearing his beautiful laugh, his teasing but lovable voice. She would miss him.

"I'm glad you did," she forced out after a moment, regaining what little semblance of control she had. "I'da killed you if you hadn't," she joked feebly. He laughed in the same manner.

Bucky's gorgeous blue eyes glanced up from the welcome mat under Casey's feet to lock with said woman's own ocean irises. They just stared for a bit. Taking in each other while they were there.

  
**The taxi's waitin'**

**He's blowin' his horn**

 

Sadly, the moment was broken when the taxi beeped his horn, even louder this time. He seemed to be growing more impatient, and it wasn't just because Casey was outside now and she could hear it better. The driver sighed in frustration and threw a glare at the duo.

Casey released a shaky laugh and said "You'd better get going then, Sarge." She nearly choked twice in that sentence, and she's pretty sure her voice cracked at least once. God knows her heart was. "He seems a bit impatient," she finished weakly.

Bucky smiled sadly at the female in front of him. She was so tiny! Even if she was just above average to others, he was such a giant that he towered over her form. He smiled down at his best gal. Well, what he wishes was his best gal.

He should probably say it now. In case he doesn't- Well, he didn't want to think about that. But it was a possibility. Maybe he should-

The taxi beeped again, exasperatedly. Bucky looked back and sucked in a deep breath, resisting the urge to swear at the stupid driver. He should've taken Steve up on his offer to drive to the airport with him and have the little punk drive his car safely back home. But when did Bucky ever listen?

He turned back to Casey and smiled gently at her.

  
**Already I'm so lonesome**

**I could die**

  
"I'm gonna miss you, doll," he whispered, bringing his hand up to brush away a strand of hair that had fallen in front of her face. He left his warm hand drift to rest on her cheek.

Casey leaned into his touch, missing it already. Trying to memorize it for when he was gone. When he was gone. What if he never came back?

The tears began to flow, though Casey tried to stop them. She kissed his hand and sobbed a bit. Bucky immediately brought his other hand to cup Abby's face. He tilted her tearful eyes to his watery ones, and locked their gazes.

"I'll be back. I promise." He paused for a moment. Better go for it.

 

**So kiss me and smile for me**

**Tell me that you'll wait for me**

**Hold me like you'll never let me go**

 

He leaned in and kissed her gently. It was like fireworks went off, and then it was like a slow warmth, spreading throughout Casey's body. She felt safe, and protected, and loved, and Bucky's.

He kissed a moment longer before regretfully drawing back to look at Casey again. "Be my best gal? Wait for me?" Bucky's hopeful, almost pleading voice sent Casey over the edge.

She lunged at him and latched her arms around his torso, sobbing uncontrollably into his chest. She furiously nodded her head into his jacket as she whispered "yes" over an over like a mantra, the fabric slightly muffling her words.

Bucky hugged her back equally as tightly and kissed her hair tenderly. A few stray tears managed to work their way from his eyes as well as he held his gal in his arms for possibly the last time.

After a moment, Bucky had to reluctantly pull back. The soldier was forced to pry Casey's arms apart behind his back, as she had latched on like she was never going to let go.

  
**'Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane**

**Don't know when I'll be back again**

**Oh babe, I hate to go**

  
"I've gotta get to the airport, darlin'," Bucky whispered, bumping their noses together before pulling all the way back. "They're gonna leave without me, and they just can't win the war without me there!" he tried to joke half-heartedly with a wobbly smile.

Casey copied his expression, but bit her lip to hold back more tears. "When will you-" her voice cracked. She cleared her throat and started again. "When will you be back?" she asked, avoiding his gaze.

Bucky looked down. "I dunno, doll. I just don't know. I wish I did so I could tell ya, but I can't." He looked up at Casey for a second before pulling her to his chest one last time. Then he turned around and walked down the path to the taxi.

At the gate to the fence around Casey's house, Bucky paused for a moment. He looked back and said. "Doll, I hate to go. I love you."

"I love you too Bucky. Come back to me. Please," Casey begged in return.

Bucky sent her that cute little two-fingered salute he always did, and shot her a wink for good measure. She laughed, and Bucky was happy he was leaving her with a smile. That was how he would remember her. Smiling, happy, his Casey.

 

**There's so many times I've let you down**

**So many times I've played around**

**I tell you now, they don't mean a thing**

  
As the plane took off, Bucky stared out the window. He was off to the remote base in Kurnerslaugh, close to the front lines. He would probably never see Casey again. He finally allowed himself to fall into the dark abyss of regret and loss he was feeling since the day he signed up.

_"You what!?" Casey screamed, whirling on Bucky with shocked eyes._

_Bucky looked down and mumbled, "I enlisted."_

_He never even saw it coming. Her hand connected with his face so hard it sent him reeling, quite literally, forcing him to grab the nearest building in support. He rubbed his jaw and was thankful she hadn't really punched him. Then he'd have a broken jaw. He flicked his eyes up and saw nothing but betrayal and hurt burning in the blonde's blue eyes, forcing his gaze back to the ground in shame._

_"How could you?" her voice wavered out. "How could you do this to me?" she whispered, those few words showcasing the fear and confusion of her world falling apart around her._

_"I don't need to report to you," Bucky gritted out. He had to. He had to make her hate him or she'd never let him go._

_Her hand connected with his body again, this time in his gut. He doubled over in pain and raised his head long enough to see Casey breathing heavily as tears streamed down her face. She ran shaking hands through her hair before turning and bolting. Running like all hell was on her tail. Away from him. Because of him._

_And he just sat there and let her go._

 

******8 years ago******

  
_"Bucky! You can't just say stuff like that! I almost believed you!" Casey yelled playfully as she slapped his arm. But she never met his gaze. She never did._

_She had almost given in. Actually believed he meant what he was saying. Until those few words came whipping out, like they always did, to tear her hope apart._

_"Oh doll, you know I'd never feel like that! I don't wanna lose our glorious friendship!" he joked. He'd never let her see either. She couldn't get attached to him. She just couldn't. He was going to war. It was his father's dying wish. And Bucky knew he couldn't put Casey through the pain of not coming back._

_"'Course!" Casey replied, slapping him on the back and telling him to go get Steve. "I'll be right here!" she called to his retreating back. "Right here," she murmured. "Forever."_

 

******Present******

 

Bucky regretted all those lost years they could've been together. If he hadn't been so stupid. So arrogant to think he was doing her a favor. They could've lived happily. Their carefree young love thriving in their glory days.

But he didn't.

 

**Ev'ry place I go, I'll think of you**

**Ev'ry song I sing, I'll sing for you**

**When I come back, I'll bring your wedding ring**

 

He wrote her every chance he got.

_"Hey doll, it's cold over here. Miss you, love you."_

Sometimes he wrote less, sometimes more. He only ever wrote about small things. Never any of the fighting. Ever. She'd never know what he was going through. The thought of her in this god-forsaken place-he couldn't even keep the thought in his head.

_"None of these idiots know how to make a decent meal so I've become the unofficial chef. You need to teach me how to make some more soups when I get home. I now see what a small number of recipes I am armed with. Love you, Bucky."_

All he could think of was her. Everywhere he went, the thought of her kept him going. Every time he fell, the thought of holding her in his arms got him up. He fought for freedom, justice, and the right thing, sure. But most of all, he fought for her.

One day he sent a package along with his letter. Inside was a gorgeous ring, exactly what Casey had always wanted. The letter read:

_"Dear darlin',_

_Please excuse my writing, I can't stop my hand from shaking it's so damn cold. Sorry, getting off track. So I sent you a ring. I've got the other one, and I figure once we get back, we could maybe get married? Yeah, I know. Sorry if I'm moving too fast. I just don't wanna wait anymore than we already have. Love you forever, your Bucky."_

 

**So kiss me and smile for me**

**Tell me that you'll wait for me**

**Hold me like you'll never let me go**

 

Steve left her too. After the fiasco with releasing the prisoners, Bucky laid down to go to sleep and only then did his mind slow down enough to think.

Casey was alone now. Steve left and now she was completely and utterly alone. He laid awake that entire night thinking of how abandoned, how alone Casey must have been feeling.

The next morning he was loaded on a plane with the other Commandos and flown off to where they were needed. All he could think of was the last time he stepped on a plane, and the parting he received.

  
**'Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane**

**Don't know when I'll be back again**

**Oh babe, I hate to go**

  
_"Hey, sweetheart,_

_I'm headed for another mission with the guys. Can't tell you where but I know we'll be out of communications for awhile. Sorry to leave you like this. Don't know when I'll be able to write again. For what it's worth, I love what we had, and what we have. I'm just sorry I didn't act on it sooner. I love you with everything I've got. And I hate to go like this, but I'll be back. I love you."_

 

**Now the time has come to leave you**

**One more time**

**Let me kiss you**

 

He took a breath once, steeling his nerves before swinging up and whipping his gun out. He knew it was stupid. Crazy. Suicidal. But he didn't care. He had to save Steve. He picked up his best friend's shield and used it to block an attack.

The other guy went down, but due to the force of the suicide blast the guy shot, Bucky got sent through the side of the train car. Steve got up just in time to finish off the HYDRA goon before turning to Bucky.

"BUCKY!" Steve roared out.

Bucky clung to the railing, and felt it slip and the metal groan. His last thoughts were of Steve and Casey, the two most important people in his life.

'Steve, thank god it's me not you.'

'Casey, I'm sorry I didn't get to kiss you one last time, or slide the ring on your finger."

Steve reached out his hand, shouted for Bucky to take it-

  
**Then close your eyes**

**And I'll be on my way**

 

Casey was home when the letter came. That cursed letter. In fact, she was making spaghetti. Bucky always loved spaghetti.

She heard a knock on her door and yelled "Coming!" before turning the stove off, moving the pan and pot off the burners, and taking off her apron to walk to the door. She threw it over the back of the couch just before she turned the knob and revealed her visitors.

Her heart refused to believe it, though her head came to the conclusion immediately. In front of her stood two officers, pristinely dressed and solemn-faced. One extended a letter to her.

Her shaking hand took it as if in a dream. Their lips moved in consoling words, of descriptions of bravery and valor, of the countless lives he saved, of how lucky America and the world was to have him.

It was all muted, a blur. She processed it, but was at the same time detached. Like she was watching the whole thing play out on TV. It wasn't until the men had left and she had closed the door behind her that she lost it.

The beautiful, silver engagement ring Bucky sent her was sitting on the table mockingly, dauntingly. And when her eyes scanned over that one item, the tears just started and wouldn't stop.

She fell to her knees and screamed, and sobbed, and rocked, and hugged herself, and convinced herself it wasn't real. Now that she saw the ring she saw him everywhere.

She saw him by the window. He always stood there in the mornings after he made coffee and breakfast, and watched the sunrise. She saw him by the bookshelf, where he would sometimes sit and read on the floor or (rarely) drag a chair over. She saw him on the couch, where he would crash after a night of protecting the little idiot Steve or a hard day at the shop.

He was everywhere, and Casey just couldn't stop crying. Because he couldn't be gone.

He just couldn't.

  
**Dream about the days to come**

**When I won't have to leave alone**

**About the times, I won't have to say**

  
There wasn't even a body to bury. He had been "lost to the ice" so they said.

Then Steve crashed a plane into the Arctic. To save the world, naturally. Because this stupid world. This stupid, damn, God-forsaken world needed to be saved. Needed the sacrifice of her best friends, her life. It couldn't take anyone else, no. It took the only people that she was attached to. If the world was cruel enough to take not one, but both of the people she loved, it didn't deserve to be saved. Her boys were dead. But thank the lord that the world was saved.

Casey was still reeling from Bucky, and Steve just broke any chance she had of recovering. There was no closure, no bodies to say goodbye to. Just the memories they made. And all the what-ifs they left.

Well, and Casey. They left Casey.

 

**Oh, kiss me and smile for me**

**Tell me that you'll wait for me**

**Hold me like you'll never let me go**

 

"GRAB MY HAND!" Steve yelled over the roaring of the train.

"I CAN'T!" Bucky screamed back. "STEVE I CAN'T!"

"YES YOU CAN!" Bucky took a deep breath, and reached.

Their hands were a mere hairsbreadth away, Steve was going to save him-

But then the bar broke, and Bucky was sent careening into the ravine. Screaming as he plummeted, his mind found a memory and latched onto it.

 

_The two stumbled back to Casey's apartment. He unlocked the door with the key he knew was hidden under the mat and helped Casey in, as she was completely drunk. Bucky slammed the door on the raging winter blizzard and guided Abby to the couch. Well, 'guided' was a strong word. More like supported all her weight and half-dragged her there._

_He laid her on the sofa and made sure all the wet outer layers of clothes were off so she didn't get sick. Naturally he didn't go beyond the shirt or pants. He removed her shoes and socks and proceeded to cover her unconscious form with a blanket._

_He made her soup and put it in one of those new, fancy, keep-warm containers, and set it on the coffee table in front of the couch with a spoon next to it. He also set a glass of water on a cup holder and two aspirin next to the soup._

_At this point he didn't even think twice about heading straight to her pathetically stocked medicine cabinet and grabbing two of the pills for Casey. It was almost sad how often this happened. She was either drunk or beaten to high-heaven. She was beaten more often than she was drunk, but she gave as good as she got and the other guy was usually arrested and hospitalized with police supervision-to be thrown in jail the minute he was conscious...and out of critical condition._

_Bucky shook his head in exasperation at his friend's habits before confirming that she was fever-free via a hand on her forehead. He then gently kissed the top of her head and was about to leave when a hand latched onto his wrist._

_"Stay," Casey mumbled, eyes still closed and sounding half-asleep. "Please."_

_  
_ **'Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane**

**Don't know when I'll be back again**

**Oh babe, I hate to go**

_  
Bucky smiled down at her. "Sweetheart, you're drunk. You've got everything you need for when you wake up and I've gotta go." He made to remove her grip, but her eyes blearily opened and blue met blue as he glanced up from his wrist and held her gaze._

_"I love you," she slurred out. "Please don't leave me here alone again."_

_She sounded so lost and broken that Bucky swore his heart cracked right then and there. "Darlin', you don't know what you're saying," he said, turning his head away._

_"Please don't leave me," she repeated before passing out again, her grip slacking and releasing. Bucky looked at her sleeping form. Her normally concerned and exhausted but happy face seemed so calm._

_Bucky sighed and dragged a hand over his face. He really did want to stay. But in the end, he decided it was best if he didn't. He grabbed a piece of paper and pen, knowing Casey would forget all this in the morning and wrote a short note explaining that he had taken her home and made sure she was okay._

_He set the note with the row of other items on the coffee table before turning back to Casey. He sighed and kissed her on the forehead. "I love you too," he whispered. "And I'll never leave you."_

_Casey's lips turned up into a small smile and she let out a content sigh at his words. She murmured, "I love you too," just as he reached the door. He turned back to the sleeping girl and smiled sadly. If only she knew._

 

**But I'm leavin' on a jet plane**

**Don't know when I'll be back again**

**Oh babe, I hate to go**

 

Despite the wind rushing by his ears and the rapidly shrinking train, a small smile formed on Bucky's lips.

He saved his best friend.

And he proposed to the woman he loved. Steve would take care of her. Ever since he left on that plane, he knew he wasn't coming back.

But that didn't matter. His life was complete, and he could die happily.

His world went black and his last thought was of the picture the three took a Coney Island. Bucky in the middle with Steve and Casey each under an arm. His little family.

Thank god it was him, not them.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this self-indulgent little fic. Also if you got that song reference I slipped in there (not the overall song, but you're awesome if you know that too) you are totally amazing!! Anyways, thanks!


End file.
